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OINK! presents - A musical Western

(starring Los Mekoneros!)


Bad Jake was a gunfighter
He was big and tough and mean,
He never bothered shaving
And his pants were never clean...

He fought and stole and gambled
And treated people bad,
And no-one dared to stop him!
Oh, what an utter cad!

One day while Jake was riding
An Indian called his name,
And said:'You're a bad man, Jake,
It's really a shame.'

He said, ' You cheat and gamble, Jake,
And you don't give a fig,
But beware that you aren't haunted...
By the devil's herd of pigs!'
But Jake just snarled and laughed
And knocked the Indian to the floor,
For Jake thought he was big and tough
And 'way above the law.
But that night he had a nightmare,
And in his sleep he cried -
He dreamed about the devil's herd
The ghost-pigs in the sky!
Next morning Jake forgot his dream
And rode into a town -
He planned to rob the local bank
And burn the schoolhouse down -
But all at once, a man in black
Appeared down the street,
And called on Jake to draw his gun!
There was nowhere to retreat
Now, Jake he wasn't worried,
For he thought he was the best,
He'd never lost a gunfight,
He was the fastest in the west.
But as his foeman raised his head
Jake gave a litle shout
For the man looked like a devil-pig,
With an eerie piggy snout!
The sight made Bad Jake hesitate,
His draw was far too slow,
In seconds he had made his fate,
Shot by his eerie foe!
As Jake lay in the dusty street,
His life-blood oozed away,
'The haunted little pigs have got me.'
Were the last words he did say.
And as Jake breathed his dying breath,
His foe removed his snout,
And waved to a nearby building
And the Indian came out!
They'd plotted in advance to make
Jake make his fatal error,
And played upon his fear of ghosts
To end his reign of terror!
Because Jake was afraid of pigs,
His bacon had to fry -
He was beaten by a false snout -
And the ghost-pigs in the sky.

Filmed on Location in Wild West Yorkshire

From: OINK! May 30th 1987

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