|Bad Jake was a gunfighter
He was big and tough and mean,
He never bothered shaving
And his pants were never clean...
|He fought and stole and gambled
And treated people bad,
And no-one dared to stop him!
Oh, what an utter cad!
|One day while Jake was riding
An Indian called his name,
And said:'You're a bad man, Jake,
It's really a shame.'
He said, ' You cheat and gamble, Jake,
And you don't give a fig,
But beware that you aren't haunted...
By the devil's herd of pigs!'
|But Jake just snarled and laughed
And knocked the Indian to the floor,
For Jake thought he was big and tough
And 'way above the law.
|But that night he had a nightmare,
And in his sleep he cried -
He dreamed about the devil's herd
The ghost-pigs in the sky!
|Next morning Jake forgot his dream
And rode into a town -
He planned to rob the local bank
And burn the schoolhouse down -
|But all at once, a man in black
Appeared down the street,
And called on Jake to draw his gun!
There was nowhere to retreat
|Now, Jake he wasn't worried,
For he thought he was the best,
He'd never lost a gunfight,
He was the fastest in the west.
But as his foeman raised his head
Jake gave a litle shout
For the man looked like a devil-pig,
With an eerie piggy snout!
The sight made Bad Jake hesitate,
His draw was far too slow,
In seconds he had made his fate,
Shot by his eerie foe!
|As Jake lay in the dusty street,
His life-blood oozed away,
'The haunted little pigs have got me.'
Were the last words he did say.
|And as Jake breathed his dying breath,
His foe removed his snout,
And waved to a nearby building
And the Indian came out!
|They'd plotted in advance to make
Jake make his fatal error,
And played upon his fear of ghosts
To end his reign of terror!
|Because Jake was afraid of pigs,
His bacon had to fry -
He was beaten by a false snout -
And the ghost-pigs in the sky.
From: OINK! May 30th 1987